Lines Fade, Walls Fall (Sinead's POV, Extended)
by scrittore18
Summary: When Sinead receives an unexpected phone call, she finds out that life can take a turn very quickly, in more ways than one. And why did HE—of all people—have to show up now, right when she was trying not to fall apart? Starling triplet bonding and Jonead. Strong 'T' rating!
1. Only the Beginning

**Okay so when I posted 'Lines Fade/Walls Fall' in my 'Chaotic Relations' story collection, someone suggested in a review that I should do part 2 from Sinead's POV. At that time, part 2 was almost fully written already from Jonah's viewpoint, but the idea appealed to me so I started writing the entire story in Sinead's perspective right away—though I got sidetracked for a while. So it's pretty much the same story but will be extended (as requested!) and have more 'Starling sibling' interaction written in. And of course I'll try my best to make it distinct. I hope you enjoy it!**

 **Disclaimer: Science and Medicine were my weakest points in school, so I'm a little hesitant to post this. I did do some research on this though and have had family members with brain tumors/diseases/etc. but still may not write so accurately on this subject. Please forgive any errors and/or correct me in a review or PM.**

—

Daniel Cahill was going to get it.

The thought raced through Sinead's mind like a bomb on the brink of explosion, even as she calmly stepped into the kitchen of Grace's mansion, located near the outskirts of Boston.

The little brat was sitting there, innocently looking back at her, Amy sitting next to him and Nellie placing the final dish on the table.

Putting a smile on her face, she greeted them like nothing was amiss, and like half of her wardrobe _wasn't_ ruined.

Okay, so 'half' was a little exaggerated. It was only a few items. And if Sinead was being honest with herself, they weren't clothes she normally wore. But still, Dan could have at least _asked_ her if he could use them for his dang experiment first.

"What's up Sinead?" Nellie said happily, having no idea what was going through the redhead's mind. "Are you ready to try my new Italian dish? It's loaded with seasonings and a new sauce I created. You guys are going to dig it!"

"Sounds great Nellie!" Dan answered, turning his gaze from Sinead to the enthused chef.

"It smells great too." Amy commented, but she frowned at her cousin. "Are you okay Sinead?"

"Perfectly fine." She lied. "You should ask your brother that question though."

Amy started to do so, but Sinead's cell phone rang, cutting her off.

She frowned at it, wondering why her mom was calling her. She had just talked to her that morning, and while she kept in contact with her parents, normally it wasn't this soon.

 _She probably forgot to tell me something. Or maybe she needs something from me._

"It's my mom. I'll be back," She told the three as she left the room.

"Dan, what did you do now?" Amy's voice could faintly be heard as Sinead answered her phone.

"Hey mom."

"Hi honey."

Immediately Sinead could hear a note of anxiety in her mom's voice.

"Is everything alright?"

She heard her mom take a deep breath, and Sinead's worry grew. Her mom never let on to stress, even if it was something worth the emotion.

"It's Ned. We just admitted him to the hospital here."

"Hospital?"

She echoed the word more out of dread than anything else; her mother's words had been clear enough.

"Yes." Another deep breath could be heard over the line before she gave the details.

Sinead listened carefully, her heart sinking further and further as her mom explained that Ned's headaches had been getting gradually worse over the last few days.

"He kept saying he didn't need to go to his doctor, but Ted found him passed out at their flat an hour ago so we rushed him here."

"Why are you just now calling me?" Sinead asked, her voice barely coming out through her suddenly tight throat.

She was trying not to panic, she didn't _do_ things like that after all. But when it came to her brothers, she wasn't as in control of her emotions as she would like to be.

"Sorry honey, I thought about it but getting Ned to the hospital was the primary concern. Plus I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily and-"

"It's fine. I just…" Sinead put her hand to her forehead, trying to rub the pounding away.

 _He'll be okay. They'll fix whatever it is and he'll be fine._

"How is he now?" she asked, changing routes. There was no point in getting upset with her mom; she already sounded like she was having a bad time.

"I don't know. The doctor hasn't came back. I called you as soon as they took him in emergency."

"Alright. I'll be there as soon as I can," Sinead promised. "Let me fill in everyone here and pack a bag real quick."

Her mom's voice shifted slightly from upset to practical. "Are you planning to drive? It may not be a good idea while you're upset."

"I'll be fine. I don't want to wait on a flight when I can get there in two and a half hours."

"Maybe you should see if someone there can come with you."

"I'll ask," Sinead said, but already was brushing the idea away. While she didn't care if the Cahill's came with her, she knew that she could drive just fine. Already, a calm washed over her as determination settled in. Ned _would_ be okay, and she would be there soon anyways to make sure that he was.

—

She ended up flying after all. When she had went back into the kitchen to inform the others, not only did Amy remind her that they had a connection at the airport that would probably ensure a quick flight, but she and Dan had also insisted on going with her. Nellie wanted to, but had a major on-campus test that evening.

"I'll join you as soon as I can," the girl had promised. "I'll drive tonight if he's still not better."

Sinead, though willing to go alone, was touched by their support. Forty minutes later—after a mad dash to pack and get to the airport—they were boarding a plane that would get them to Oak Bluffs a lot sooner.

"How are you holding up?" Amy asked, once they settled into their seats.

She shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. But she answered, "I'm okay."

Her friend was silent after that, but she reached over and squeezed Sinead's hand, a gesture that was appreciated.

It did trigger another thought though, one that was so sudden that Sinead visibly flinched. Glancing over at Amy and seeing that her action wasn't noticed, she let herself relax, pushing the unwanted thought away.

 _I wish **he** was here too._

It was hard at first, but she managed. Amy and Dan inquired about the latest information she had received on her brother's condition once they were in the air, and that helped.

"What did you mom's text say? The one you got when we were boarding?" Amy asked.

"They doing the MRI now, and some other test, but Ned's stable. He has a headache still but they're keeping him monitored."

"So the doctors have no idea what it could be?"

"Not yet," Sinead answered Dan's question calmly, though on the inside she was worried over that fact. "But it might just be a minor infection or something that can be easily cured."

The boy nodded, and they all fell into silence again.

After what seemed like hours, they were walking into the hospital at Oak Bluffs. Sinead had stayed collected up until this point, but seeing the worried face of Ted right as they exited the elevator almost made her lose it.

He rushed over and pulled her into a hug as soon as he saw her. The move scared her more than anything, and she barely managed to get out "how is he? Is there any more news?" as she was crushed against him.

"He's the same. I'm just so glad you're here now. It was awful Sinead."

Her heart sank as she recalled that Ted had been the one to find Ned passed out, and she squeezed him back tightly.

It was silent for a moment, then she heard her mom's voice greet Dan and Amy. She had met them a few times before so Sinead felt comfortable leaving them to talk to her, and pulled back to ask Ted in a low voice, "How are you? Be honest with me."

Her brother shrugged weakly, his eyes holding the same worry that Sinead had felt since she heard the news, but he didn't say anything.

Pursing her lips, she scanned him over quickly with her eyes, then let out a sigh. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I know I couldn't help it but I'm still sorry you all had to go through it alone."

Ted shook his head, his eyes softening, "Don't worry about it sis. You're here now. Do you want to see him?"

"Of course," she answered immediately. Looking around the room and noticing that her dad wasn't there, she inquired about him.

"He's with Ned now. But you can go back there too; the nurses are easy-going here."

Sinead nodded, feeling a little better over that news. He couldn't be too fatal if they were allowing visitors, right?

Her mother approaching broke into her thoughts, and Sinead took the remaining steps to meet her. What she saw made her heart sink. Her mom—normally the strong one of the family—had red-rimmed eyes and an almost bleak look to her face. A smile was plastered across her features in an attempt to hide it, but Sinead could see the panic lurking behind her eyes.

"I'm so glad you're here," she echoed Ted, also pulling Sinead into a hug.

Sinead normally wasn't the touchy-feely type, but her family was the exception. She returned it, then turned to Amy and Dan, who were still standing to the side.

"I'm going in to see Ned."

They nodded, and as Ted directed her to the right hallway, she heard her mom offer the Cahill siblings a snack. Her focus turned to Ned though, and she braced herself before entering the room.

The first thing she noticed was that he was hooked up to all sorts of things. It was to be expected, but still disconcerting. The second thing she took in was the sound of voices. They ceased though once the occupants of the room took sight of her.

Both her dad and Ned's faces broke out into a grin, and she relaxed slightly.

"Hey," she muttered, not sure how loud to be.

Her dad stood and greeted her, whispering "he's in good spirits" into her ear while doing so.

Still, as she sat in the chair closest to the bed, she did the whole 'scanning' thing to him that she had done to Ted.

Ned either didn't notice, or didn't care, launching right in with, "Sinead, thanks for coming, though I hate all of this cutting into your schoolwork. It may not even be that bad."

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "I don't think _fainting_ is anything to sneeze over. And don't worry about school, I can catch up."

She waved her hand nonchalantly as she sad the words, but her eyes were still checking out all of the tubes he was hooked up to. She wanted to ask him what they all were—she recognized some but not all—but refrained. He needed her to keep the light atmosphere up.

"What were you guys talking about?" she asked, and almost regretted the question as they resumed their discussion regarding the latest Star Wars movie. She liked the movie, but disagreed with them that the characters played their roles well.

Sinead eventually joined in though, almost forgetting where they were as they pulled her into a debate. But a nurse stepped in, bringing her right back down to reality. Ned greeted her cheerfully, but Sinead picked up on a glint of apprehension in his eye.

"The doctor will be in shortly. I just need to check on something here." the dark-haired nurse explained, reaching for one of the tubes.

"What are you checking?" Sinead inquired, watching her every move.

You never knew about these places, and if they were pumping medicine into him, she wanted to know what kinds they were.

"Right now I'm checking his Gentamicin, the medicine that fights against bacterial infection. Then I'm going to give him another dose of Candesartan that regulates his—"

"Heart," Sinead finished for her, frowning as she voiced the word. "What's wrong with his heart?"

The nurse raised an eyebrow, but looked more impressed than annoyed over the interruption. "It's just to regulate it after running those tests. Plus with the fainting ordeal, the doctor wanted to give him some. Nothing to worry over."

At Sinead's slow nod, the nurse went on. "I'm also going to make sure his vitals are okay."

The Ekat nodded again, but made a mental note of the medicine she didn't recognize so she could go check it out later.

"Relax," her dad spoke up and said, once the nurse exited, "They're taking good care of him."

"It doesn't hurt to check," Sinead retorted, and caught the look that was exchanged between him and Ned. It didn't bother her though. It was a fond look, one that said 'we think she's overreacting but we're also proud of her for the research we know she's going to do'.

They've always been like that, her family. Through all of her research for her brothers, and even before the explosion at Franklin Institute, they had cheered her on. Of course, she had done the same for Ned and Ted. But with the issues that stemmed from the Clue hunt, she felt the weight of their health on her shoulders more.

Finally, when Ned looked like he was about to fall asleep on them, she and her dad left. Once they were in the privacy of the hallway, Sinead started to ask her dad how her mom was. But his words halted her.

"I'm so glad you're here honey," he said, sounding like he was going to choke. "It just makes me feel better."

Sinead was about to inquire why, but he answered that one too, stating proudly, "Like back in the room, you already knew what that one medicine was. And you're always so calm and in control. Thanks for being so strong."

She smiled weakly at her dad, not _feeling_ strong, but a warmth did overtake her at his faith in her. It didn't last long though, as soon as they got to the waiting room, Sinead knew that her mom had been crying.

When she locked eyes with Sinead though, her green eyes brightened. "What do you think? Did he seem okay to you?"

"It appears that he's being taken good care of," she said vaguely, but it worked. Her mom's shoulders sank in relief at her words, and she didn't even ask her husband for confirmation.

It was then—as the group launched into a discussion about a vending machine not working—that Sinead realized something, it was up to _her_ to be the strong one now. Her family had always been her pillar, and now, _they_ were the ones who needed a pillar of support. Her parents and Ted not only seemed to really be shook up, but also seemed to be relying on her, and she would do everything she could to ease their load.

A feeling of strength came over her, from somewhere deep inside, and she grasped onto it. Whatever happened, she wouldn't—no _couldn't_ —let them down.

—

 **So the first chapter is a little short, but there is more to follow, I promise! This will probably be a 4-6 chapter story, depending on where I go with it.**


	2. Only Faith

**Disclaimer: Medical knowledge is still minimal, and you can still correct me if I'm inaccurate! :)**

—

"How is he?"

Sinead lifted her bleary eyes to meet Nellie's concerned ones, and licked her lips.

"I don't know."

It was hard to admit that, but it was true. No one knew anything at this point.

It had been two days since Ned had first been admitted to the hospital. At first, it seemed like he was getting better. The doctors at the hospital in Oak Bluffs had done the tests, announced that it was more than likely a minor infection that the antibiotics would help, but wanted to keep him for an extra day.

But this morning, all hell had broken loose. Sinead—who up to this point had barely been able to sleep or eat anything—had finally allowed herself to relax and was just drifting off to sleep in the chair of the small waiting room, when the doctor had shown up, grim-faced.

 _ ***Flashback***_

" _I need to talk to all of the immediate family of Ned Starling, please," he stated._

 _Sinead's heart sank at his expression, but she kept her own face neutral as she and Ted stood and followed her parents out the door._

 _The doctor swiftly led them to the room where Ned was, but paused in the hallway right outside. Inside, a swarm of people were hovering and shouts were being exchanged. Sinead thought she was going to be sick._

' _Please', she thought. 'Don't let him be…'_

 _But the doctor's words eased her mind momentarily, "He's alive. But he just had a horrible seizure and isn't responding. We've got to get him to a hospital that specializes in neurology, immediately."_

 _Her parents were already nodding, though their faces were pale and both of them had tears in their eyes._

" _Whatever we need to do," her mom spoke up, her voice shaky. "Please, just-"_

 _But her face crumpled and a sob ripped out of her throat. Sinead felt frozen in place, not sure what to do, even though her brain was screaming at her to go over there. Her dad stepped in though, pulling his wife into an embrace through his own tears. Inhaling sharply, Sinead looked to Ted next. He was staring in at the room, devastation all over his face._

 _Making a snap decision, she squared her shoulders and addressed the doctor, "What are they doing now?"_

" _Trying to keep him revived. We lost him for a few seconds, and now have a weak pulse. But we need to make sure he will survive the med flight to Baltimore."_

" _Baltimore?" Sinead asked, even as she was watching Ted. He had flinched at the doctor's words, 'we lost him for a few seconds', and was now fighting his own tears. Once again, Sinead felt like she had to be the one to keep it together and also make sure she knew what was going on._

" _It's the closest hospital that specializes in neurology. They have specialized equipment like Neuroimaging and a lot of specialists that can go beyond what I can."_

 _She nodded, then took a few steps to put an arm around Ted. While she did so, muttering that Ned would be fine, she watched her parents. Her mom looked over suddenly and caught her eye, and Sinead thought she spotted gratefulness there. It made her feel better, but not for long, as a nurse came out and asked to speak to the doctor in private._

 _He agreed, then told the Starlings they could wait in the waiting room, or his office down the hall._

" _We can't stay here? To make sure he's okay?" her dad asked._

" _Sorry," Dr. Timber stated. "They need space in order to do their job. But don't be alarmed, they're doing everything they can and once Ned's stable we will fly him there."_

" _In the meantime," Sinead told her parents, "We need to get our own plane tickets. Or can we ride with Ned?" she directed this question to the doctor._

" _Only one of you can."_

 _Reaching for her phone with one hand, Sinead steered Ted away with the other. She heard her parents follow, but was already focusing on the flights. Even though she felt the dread and fear was going to choke her, somehow, she managed to keep a clear head long enough to book five flights to Baltimore, barely remembering Amy and Dan._

 _After that, she tried to stay positive and encourage her family. It was hard, because she thought that her heart was going to explode._

' _Ned, you have to be okay!' she wanted to yell the words out, but her mouth was dry. Her brain felt numb too, as she willed the panic and pain away._

 ***End Flashback***

Her mind flew back to the present at Nellie's second question, "And how are you kiddo?"

"Me?" Sinead let out a humorless laugh. "I'm fine."

She felt the older girl studying her, but the Ekat turned her face away, focusing on the interior of the waiting room. Her parents had pulled some strings at the huge, ten-story hospital, and had somehow managed to get a private room. It was smaller than most of the public ones here, but it sure did beat sharing the space with a bunch of strangers. Letting out a breath, Sinead closed her eyes and tried to rest against her chair, but felt antsy.

She hadn't been able to eat anything since last night, and even though she was exhausted, sleep wouldn't come.

Her parents had rented a hotel for all of them the night before, when it seemed like Ned was fine, but she had opted to stay at the hospital for updates, insisting that she would nap today. Of course, there was no _way_ she would be able to sleep now.

"Well," Nellie said, once more breaking into her thoughts, "I'm here now so I can help. Do you guys need food or anything?"

"No," Ted responded, speaking for all of them. "We just ate but thanks. Right now we are waiting to find out what caused the seizure this morning."

Since breaking down that morning, Ted had seemed okay on the surface. But his triplet sister knew that he was barely holding on, it showed in his eyes every time she met his gaze. Fear, worry, hopelessness, it all was displayed, and made Sinead even more helpless to try to combat it. Her dad too, seemed just as bleak as his son. Sinead was slightly taken aback by the change in her mom, though. After meeting her here—her mom being the one to fly with Ned—she had seemed more hopeful and optimistic.

 _It has to be a front,_ she thought now, studying her mom's slim figure. _She was a mess this morning. She probably just doesn't want to upset the rest of us, so I still have to be the pillar._

"Sinead, come here sweetie."

Looking over at her dad, she saw him patting the chair next to him. A smile hovered on his face, though it didn't meet his eyes. She obeyed, and was pulled up against him the second she was seated. It threw her off, and almost made her lose it. She recovered though, clearing her throat and asking softly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm better. I'm wondering about you though. Being tough is your specialty, but you're the only one who hasn't-"

"Sinead," Amy suddenly appeared in the doorway of the waiting room, a frown on her face and her phone up to her ear. "Can you come here for a minute? I have Ian on the phone."

Relief coursing through her at being saved from her dad's inquiry, she nodded and rose. "Of course."

Turning back to her dad, she flashed him a smile. "I'm fine dad. But thanks for checking."

She didn't wait for a response, but met Amy in the doorway, then followed her down the quiet hallway.

"Hey," her cousin whispered, covering the mouthpiece. "Ian and Natalie want to come here, but don't want to intrude. Their presence won't make it worse, will it?"

Sinead was touched, both by them wanting to visit, _and_ their consideration. "Of course they won't be intruding."

She knew that Amy would love to have her boyfriend there, and it might be a welcome distraction for her family. Smiling, she added, "It will be good to have visitors."

Amy nodded, then motioned for Sinead to stay put. After assuring Ian that he and Natalie wouldn't be in the way and giving him the address of the hospital, she hung up and turned.

"What about the Holts? Aren't Ned and Madison good friends?"

"I hadn't even thought about them," Sinead admitted, closing her eyes. "And yes, they are. I should have thought about it before and-"

"Hey, it's okay Sinead," Amy cut in. "You've had plenty on your plate and probably too much at that. I'll call them so you don't have to worry about it."

Gratefulness shot through the redhead, and she impulsively pulled Amy into a hug. "Thank you. I don't know how I would have survived all of this without you."

"Hey, that's what friends, and _family_ , are for."

Sinead drew back and smiled at her cousin. For the first time in three days, the gesture didn't seem forced. It was short lived though, as Amy spoke again.

"What about Jonah?" she asked, and Sinead's heart jolted at the sound of his name.

 _Jonah._

The person that she had been hooking up with for the last few months, but otherwise, had no ties to. His name sent a rush of emotions through her, but thankfully it must not have been obvious, because Amy was still talking. "Shouldn't we contact him too?"

"He has a big performance tonight. There's no way he could come," she informed Amy, hating that she knew that fact.

It wasn't like it wasn't public news, but Sinead felt pretty pathetic knowing his schedule. And it was especially hard to admit out loud.

"Still, you should call him. He would want to know I'm sure." Amy frowned at her, but confusion orbited in her eyes.

Looking down to avoid the probing gaze, Sinead thought fast. Amy had _no_ idea of the extent of her and Jonah's relationship—though she probably suspected something was going on. And Sinead wasn't crazy about the idea of letting her in on it.

"I don't want him here," she finally said, making sure to sound extra firm. "It would make things worse. Just trust me on this one."

"Sinead-"

"Absolutely _not_."

She knew that her tone would probably only make Amy more suspicious, but she didn't care. Jonah could care less about her; she knew that for a fact. He was always willing to hook up with her whenever she called him, but they hadn't ever had anything more than that, and she didn't _want_ anything more.

 _Liar. You do. Remember that time-_

"Okay, fine." Amy's voice brought her back to the present moment. "If you change your mind though, let me know and I can call him. I want to make things easier on you."

"I know. Thank you," she made sure to soften her tone as she replied. "Now let's get back in there. I want to ask my mom a question about something."

Nothing else was said as they re-entered the waiting room, and Sinead was glad. She had too much to deal with right now, and didn't need a self-centered celebrity to alter her focus, or to invade her thoughts.

"There you are Sinead," Ted said, the second they walked through the door. "The doctor already pulled mom and dad out, but wanted all of us. I was just about to come find you."

Her heart quickened, and she hoped that it was good news. It _had_ to be good news.

"Let's go," she stated, already turning back to the door. Ted joined her, and it didn't take them long to find Dr. Aldridge, the neurologist that was taking over Ned's treatment. Sinead really liked this doctor. Not only was he really friendly and knowledgeable, but he hadn't seemed to mind the torrent of questions that she had hit him with that morning once she arrived. A lot of people were intimidated by her Ekaterina mind, but this man wasn't.

He was sitting in his office with her parents, and looked up and greeted her and Ted as they entered. They returned it, but Sinead asked right away, "What's going on Dr. Aldridge?"

The man let out a sigh, "Well, I want to be upfront with you. It's not good news."

Sinead's heart felt like it was frozen as she waited for him to say more. She kept her eyes glued to his face, searching it for a trickle of hope. But his gaze was steady as he continued, "Have you ever heard of Thalamic Glioma?"

At the word 'Glioma', the Ekat flinched.

 _Tumor._

Her brain barely processed it though, as the doctor was voicing her thoughts.

"Glioma is a term for a tumor that originates in the brain. This one is rare though, in that it originates from the glial cells, or 'supporting' cells of the brain. In plain English, it's the processing center for sensory information. This information travels between the body and the surface of the brain, making it possible for movement, sleeping, awareness, and consciousness."

"So is that why he had a seizure? And then passed out again?" Ted interrupted.

"Yes. Well, it's actually more complicated than that. The problem is, the tumor was hidden on most of the test—not surprising given the area it was in. And it's fatal."

"There's not a treatment?" Sinead asked, her brain quickly trying to rationalize his words.

"I'm getting to that. Normally there is. Though this form of a brain tumor is rare, it normally can be cured. But given the length of time it's been there, combined with the infection he still has in his brain"—Dr. Aldridge let out a sigh—"well, we don't think he will make it through the night."

The heaviness that fell in the room was so tangible, Sinead thought it would swallow her alive. The hope that she had been clinging too, the optimism, the faith, it all crumbled before her eyes.

Ned was going to _die._

Her triplet brother, so strong and courageous, wasn't going to be alive tomorrow.

Sinead closed her eyes, trying to fight against the feeling of crushing pain. It was hard, but she managed to push back every emotion, and let the words settle in her heart. It was over.

Vaguely, she could hear the sound of sobs, but her body was numb. There were no tears clogging her throat, no feeling of pain or dread anymore. Instead, an inner calm flowed through her being, steadying her.

She popped her eyes open, and spoke amid the sounds of crying, "What are the options?"

Dr. Aldridge met her eyes, surprise and respect in his own. "We will go over treatments in just a minute. I want you all to take the time to process this though. I wish I could give you good news, but there is no point in giving you false hope. That being said, there is still a chance that he will make it, just not a very high one."

Sinead nodded and inhaled sharply, finally looking over at the rest of her family.

Despair was there, but it looked like the doctor's words gave them a little bit of strength. She didn't have it in her to smile or to say any encouraging words, but she did stand, walk over to her parents, and hug both of them at the same time. Ted joined them, and for a moment, hope came back into Sinead's heart.

 _There's still a chance. We have to keep a clear head so we can make the best decisions. And I might be the only one that's able to do so. I've got to pull strength from this moment, and let it propel me through the next 24 hours._

—

 _ **Amy's POV**_

Hearing the news about Ned was hard. After the Starlings came back and explained the situation—well, more like Sinead explained—and the possible routes of treatment, Amy wasn't sure what to do.

At first, she went around and hugged each of them, crying with them, as did Nellie and Dan. But when Amy got to her close friend who was more like a sister to her, words failed. Sinead didn't cry, didn't flinch. Instead, it seemed like she was in a daze. Amy caught worried looks being thrown at her, even from her parents, and it made her even more concerned.

A thought came to her, and at first she pushed it away. Earlier, when she had suggested this to Sinead, her cousin had reacted strongly. And it could make it worse. Still, Amy's gut instinct was _screaming_ at her that this was what Sinead needed. Though she wasn't sure exactly what had gone down between the Ekat and the person in question, she had this feeling…

"Excuse me for a minute. I need to go make a phone call," she whispered to Mrs. Starling, hoping that Sinead wouldn't even notice her slipping out. But a glance at her cousin as she exited confirmed that she was safe.

Seconds later, Amy was in the hallway, her phone pressed against her ear. Though the ringing had just started, it felt like it had been going on for an eternity too.

 _Please answer. She needs you. Please pick up the phone._

Abruptly, the ringing stopped, and a familiar voice said, "Yo, Wiz here."

Relief coursed through her so strongly that she reflexively closed her eyes.

"Jonah. Thank goodness you answered."

—


	3. Only Chance

**I know I shouldn't apologize for this, but I always try to keep my chapters around the same length. There really wasn't a good place to break this though, so this one is about 1,500 words more than the last one. That being said, I hope everyone enjoys every bit of it!**

—

The next few hours both flew and dragged by. Sinead was trying to stay calm, trying to be positive, but it was getting harder and harder as the minutes droned on. On top of maintaining _that_ facade, her body was screaming at her to rest. But every time she closed her eyes, images of Ned's pale face and the doctor's words echoed in her head. There was no way she was going to sleep, when even as they sat and waited he could be-

"Sinead," she heard Ted's voice say, close to her ear.

"What?" Shaking her head quickly to get out of her zone, she looked over at him.

"I asked if you wanted anything to eat. The Holts are almost here and offered to bring food."

Sinead winced, the thought of food turning her stomach. "I'm good. Tell them thank you though, that's really nice of them to offer."

Ted picked up his phone, and Sinead went back to her thinking. Or, tried to. Her mom addressed her, "Sinead honey, don't you think you should at least _try_ to eat something?"

Sending her a smile, the redhead answered honestly, "I'm afraid it will make me sick. I don't even want to attempt it."

Her mom nodded, but her green eyes held concern. Sinead avoided them though, choosing to glance back at Ted. Her brother was staring off into space, a miserable look on his face, and she couldn't help but lean over and put her arm around him. He shifted so he was hugging her too, and they sat there in silence. Her heart ached for him, for _them,_ but there were no words she could think of to say.

His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket, his arm still around her. But he drew back in seconds, standing to his feet with a wry grin on his face.

"The Holts are here, but got lost trying to find this room. I need to go get them."

Dan chimed in that he would help, and both boys left. Sinead opted to stay, needing the time to pull herself together in order to greet their cousins. The hug from her brother had helped though, and seemed to replenish the strength she felt like she was slowly losing over the course of the day's events.

—

Her Thomas cousin's presence somehow lightened the atmosphere.

At first, as they gave their condolences—mainly through large, suffocating bear hugs—Sinead started to feel sad again, _especially_ when Madison started crying. She and Ned had become close friends since the party Amy had thrown five months ago, and Sinead knew the girl was probably almost as devastated as her family was. But then the tension had lifted as their support was given and conversation started happening. It was obvious that all three of them—Hamilton, Madison, and Reagan—had partly came with the goal of cheering the Starlings up.

Sinead appreciated it, she really did, so she tried to relax and participate in the visiting going on around her. It was tough though, as her brain was still reeling from the doctor's words. She just couldn't get them out of her head. _'We don't think he will make it through the night'._

A figure sat down beside her and an arm came around her just then. Sinead let a tiny smile graze her lips as she glanced over at her dad. He hadn't said much the last couple of hours, but what her dad didn't say, he made up by action.

"Honey, will you walk with me to the vending machine? I want to go to the one on the 3rd floor that has the fruit in it."

Sinead nodded, but felt suspicious. He would more than likely try to convince her to get something to eat, and she was getting annoyed with everyone's attempts. At the same time, she felt like the walk, _and_ the temporary space, would be good for her.

They informed everyone where they were going, and then made the long trek. The machines were actually in a different wing too, but Sinead didn't mind. Walking with her dad was peaceful. Like her, he wasn't one for small talk, but him being beside her somehow made her feel more confident about everything. Maybe Ned _would_ be okay, she thought, looking out the floor-to-ceiling window of the hospital as they crossed wings.

The feeling faded though, once her dad got his fruit (and much to her relief, didn't try to talk her into getting anything) and spoke on their way back.

"I want to tell you thank you Sinead."

When she shot him a questioning look, he gave her a warm smile and said, "You've been so strong honey. Our family really depends on you, you know. But I want to tell you something else too."

Not really knowing what to say, she nodded at him to continue.

"You don't have to act like you're okay for our sake. While I admire how you've been holding up, don't feel like you can't cry or scream or anything like that."

Sinead reached over to lay a hand on his arm, right as they got into the elevator. "Dad thank you for what you said. But I'm fine."

She felt him studying her, but she kept her expression relaxed and neutral. Finally, he sighed. "I'll take your word for it. But know that I'm here for you. So is your mom, your brother, and the rest of the family that's in that waiting room."

Gratefulness welled up in her, but she stayed poised, smiling at him as they exited into the hallway. "Thanks. I'm glad the Holts are here now, and of course Amy, Dan, and Nellie. It's helping, their presence."

He nodded his agreement, and the subject dropped. But her dad apparently had something else on his mind too.

"In spite of everything I just said, about you being strong, I'm really worried about you. So is your mother."

"Worried about me? Why?" Sinead asked, though feeling she already knew the reason.

"You haven't been sleeping or eating or anything," her dad stated firmly. "I get the food thing; it's hard to eat for me too. But you need to rest Sinead-"

Sinead cut him off as they walked through the door, wanting to state this once and for all. Not just for his sake, but for the others in the room too. She had caught all of the glances over the last day, but she wanted to be clear on this.

"If you think I'm going to go sleep when Ned might _die_ then you're crazy!"

It probably was too harsh—she knew her dad was only sharing his concerns—but she felt the need to emphasize that fact. There was no _way_ she could sleep at this point. Not when things were so crucial.

Sinead had been looking at her dad, and no one else as they entered, but her mom standing from the couch caught her attention.

"Don't talk like that," she said firmly. Sinead felt abased, but when she halted in front of her, her mom put her hands on her shoulders, forcing her daughter to meet her eyes. Her green ones were gentle as she added, "Ned's tough. I believe that he will make it through this and be as good as new in no time."

Sinead relaxed at the faith in her mom's tone, and couldn't speak past the lump that had come into her throat.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed her dad frowning across the room, but didn't think anything about it until he said, "Oh, another guest. You're family right? You look a little familiar."

 _Another guest? Probably a distant relative from mom's side since dad didn't recog-_

But when she turned to see who it was, she felt like she had been hit with a stun gun. No, a _bomb_ was probably more accurate, in this case.

Standing there, in jeans and a bright red jacket, chains around his neck and a serious expression on his face, was Jonah Wizard.

Her heart dropped, and she was glad that he wasn't looking at her. This was the last thing she needed right now. _He_ was the last thing she needed to deal with.

He had just said something in response to her dad, but she had no idea what it was.

"Wh-what…" she trailed as realization hit.

 _Amy. Amy had to have let him know._

Turning her eyes from the rapper to her closest cousin—who was conveniently standing right beside him—she stared at her. Amy didn't meet her gaze, but her chin lifted slightly so Sinead knew that she could feel her eyes on her.

Sinead kept glaring though, a feeling of betrayal slowly overtaking her.

Dimly, she registered her dad say, "Oh that's right, you're the celebrity of the family. What do you do, hip-hop and stuff?"

If she hadn't been so upset, she would have been surprised that her dad even knew that. He always said he hated 'that rap garbage'.

"Yeah he does. He's probably the biggest star on the planet right now," Hamilton added.

Sinead mentally agreed. Jonah _was_ the biggest star on the planet, a star who was _supposed_ to be working right now, not be here.

As if reading her thoughts, Dan spoke up next. "Hey weren't you supposed to open _and_ close the show tonight too?"

"I canceled when I found out about Ned," Jonah answered, like he actually cared about her brother.

That was it. She was going to _murder_ Amy when she got her alone. Her cousin still wasn't looking at her, but Sinead kept her eyes glued on her form, not trusting herself to look at anyone else. All of her cousins had been at the party when she kissed Jonah, so they probably were all a little curious right now, but she knew her brother would especially be. Ted and Ned both had demanded explanations afterwards, and when she hadn't given them one they didn't speak to her for a couple of days.

 _That's not even the worst of it. If they had any idea that Jonah and I have been hooking up for months now, and that_ _ **I've**_ _been the one to initiate it, they would_ _ **kill**_ _me._

Of course, she could explain that despite that face, she and Jonah still hated each other, but it probably wouldn't matter. Sinead berated herself all of the time for keeping the affair alive, but every time she thought about never seeing Jonah again, something clenched inside of her. But it wasn't love, or anything like that. No feelings were involved. It was just sex.

 _Keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll believe it._

"You canceled on an event like that?" her mom asked, sounding a little too much like she had when the Holts had arrived. Sinead wanted to scream at her that this wasn't the same thing, that there had to be an ulterior motive to Jonah being here, but her mother was already crossing the room. Jonah was looking at her warily, and looked really caught off-guard when she hugged him and said, "Thanks honey. You didn't have to but it's so sweet that you did."

 _Sweet my *ss,_ Sinead thought, annoyance hitting her as she watched her mom embrace the person who she loathed most in the world.

It was an unfair label, but she justified it momentarily.

"No biggie," Jonah answered, but he looked a little stiff as he returned the hug.

Sinead felt a pang at that, knowing that he probably wasn't used to a 'mother' figure in his life. The whole Cahill branch had heard about Cora Wizard disowning her son after the Clue Hunt, but nothing was really said further about it. Still, it had to be rough.

"Thanks again for coming," her mom told him, then turned back around, directing her next sentence at everyone. "Really thanks to all of you."

Her mom walked back over, but Sinead kept her eyes on Jonah, trying to figure him out as Madison said something in reply to her mom's thanks.

Before she could really study his face though Jonah looked at her, and her mouth went dry as his dark eyes met hers for the first time since his appearance. Quickly looking away, she sat down by Ted and asked him how he was doing.

"I'm fine. I should be asking you that, really."

She knew he was referring to Jonah's presence, but she didn't want to get into that right now. Instead, she purposed to ignore the celebrity for the rest of his visit. If he wanted to be here, fine. But she hoped that he wasn't expecting her to be all cheery about his arrival.

"I'm as fine as I can be under the circumstances," she said breezily, then turned to Madison, smiling sympathetically when she noted the redness of her eyes.

Not for the first time, Sinead wondered why her own eyes had stayed dry lately. Everyone—even her dad—had shed tears. In a way, she wanted to release some sort of emotion, to feel something. But all she had felt the past few days was panic, numbness, and dread. Her brother might _die._

She hated thinking the words almost as much as she had hated voicing them seconds ago. But the reality was, there wasn't a good chance that he would make it. And Sinead felt like she needed to be the strong one right now. For Ted, her parents, and her cousins that were also shaken up by this.

Pushing all of that aside as Hamilton asked her a question, she launched herself into the discussion in front of her almost automatically.

Within minutes she had practically forgotten about Jonah's existence, except for Ted addressing him.

"Dude, your phone keeps lighting up."

They all looked over to see that Jonah's phone was lighting up, but the celebrity was apparently ignoring it. In fact he didn't even glance over at it, instead making a face at the TV that he seemed to be glued to.

"It's probably my dad," Jonah answered like it was no big deal. "He's a little pissed off at me right now."

Sinead noted the sympathetic looks he was getting, and it irked her even further. It was his choice to be here after all. So, ignoring the guilt that she felt over him missing the tribute, she said, "Well, you didn't _have_ to skip out on that show tonight."

It came out harsher than she had meant it, and even her mom chided her.

"Sinead."

But Sinead was beyond caring at the moment, suddenly forgetting that she was supposed to be ignoring Jonah right now.

"What's your game by being here anyways?" she demanded, wanting to know. "You barely talk to my brother."

It was a direct challenge, a chance for him to actually be honest, but like always he kept the calm air that always surrounded him when he responded.

"My game? Thanks for automatically thinking the worst about me. Maybe I'm _concerned._ "

 _Concerned._

The word made her flinch, and she barely kept from lashing out as she looked away. Jonah was never concerned. He didn't care and neither did she.

She settled for a "right", and decided to go back to ignoring him.

An awkward silence settled in before Amy spoke up. "Shouldn't the one doctor be back by now? He said around 10 he would have more information."

"I was planning on going to find him if he wasn't in here by fifteen after," Sinead's dad said. "You know how doctors are."

Glad for the chance to get a break, Sinead volunteered to go find him, and then left quickly before anyone else could protest.

It didn't take long for her to find Dr. Aldridge. The man was in the hallway, standing and speaking with one of the surgeons. They both looked up when they saw her approach, and Sinead watched as Dr. Aldridge said something to the surgeon and then stepped up to meet her.

"Sinead. I was just about to head your way."

She licked her lips, not sure why, but there was something serious about his expression. "Ned? Is he-"

"He's the same," the doctor said, then seemed to reconsider his words. "Well, to a degree. Can you go get the rest of your family? Immediate members only please."

Dread, which was already present, started to well up inside of her.

"Okay," she answered automatically, turning back down the hall.

Thoughts of what it could be raced through her mind, but she didn't allow herself to dwell on that.

 _Get my family. Listen to the doctors. Take it a step at a time._

That was what she needed to do.

—

Though Sinead prided herself in being a genius, knowing medical terms, and keeping up with things so far, the surgery the doctor had just explained was a little confusing.

But she wasn't the only one who seemed to think that. "So you're saying that this procedure is the only thing that will save my son?" Sinead's mom asked, her face tight, but hopeful.

Dr. Aldridge nodded, as did the other doctor that was in the room.

"It's using a lot of new technology," the other doctor, whose name Sinead didn't know, explained. "That being said, it's going to take around eight hours to complete. The team of surgeons will be going into a very delicate area of the brain, and missteps could be fatal. There will actually be several teams working on him, if you all agree to it."

Sinead looked at her parents, who were looking back at her and Ted, and it was like they all came to a conclusion at the same time. _'If it's the only thing that will save him.._ _.'_

"We want to proceed," her mom stated, gaining nods from the rest of the family.

"Okay. Now I want to say upfront, that this is a high-risk surgery. Also, we won't know until it's one-hundred percent complete if it worked or not. But if it's successful, Ned should be fine. In fact, his seizures might stop altogether."

He went into a deeper description after that, Dr. Aldridge adding his commentary too, and finally, they were standing to leave. Relief hit Sinead so heavy, that she almost couldn't stand at first. But she managed, while also trying to warn her brain that it wasn't good to get _too_ hopeful about this. After all, it may not do a thing, or Ned could die during surgery…

"This is so wonderful," her mom whispered to her dad as they walked back to the waiting room, and Sinead saw him squeeze her hand in return.

When they entered the room, only Jonah and Amy were sitting there. Sinead tried not to notice, but she couldn't help but take in the tension in the air.

She heard Ted ask where everyone went, but didn't hear Amy's response. She did catch Jonah ask, "What did they say?" but her mom stated that they would explain when everyone returned.

Sinead took a seat, making sure it was several seats away from Jonah, and let her dad do all of the talking once the rest of her cousins came back. Seeing the relief and hope on their faces did her good. In fact, she almost smiled, until Jonah's words washed over her.

"You guys probably need the sleep more than anyone. I can stay awake in case the doctors come in and update."

Looking over as some of the others volunteered, she stated, "I would rather stay here."

She wanted to add, 'but why don't you go ahead and sleep' to Jonah, but refrained.

To her surprise, his tone almost seemed offended as he replied, "Of course you would, since I was the one that suggest it."

Before she could stop herself, her eyes flashed to his face, but he was still speaking.

"You're way too stubborn. What good is it doin' you to stay up all night anyways?"

Anger churned through her, how dare he call _her_ stubborn? Even if she was, it wasn't any of his business.

"What _good_?" she spat, tears almost coming to her eyes, seemingly out of nowhere. Forcing them down, she continued, "That's my brother in there!"

She was going to go on, but a soft voice made her freeze. It came from her mother.

"You're not going to help him any by getting sick."

Sinead met her mom's eyes, to see her frowning at her, concern glinting in her eyes. "You're the only one of us who hasn't slept in a bed in the past two days or ate a solid meal. If anyone should go sleep it's you."

"Sinead, would it help if I went over to the room with you?" Amy put in, and Sinead wanted to snap at her that it wouldn't help at all, but the kindness in her cousin's tone derailed her momentarily.

"I think your parents said the hotel they got is right next door to this building," she went on. "And I could use some sleep too."

Sinead knew that they didn't mean to come across as gaining up on her, but betrayal still seeped through her. "Really? You're siding with him?"

As soon as the words left her mouth she turned on Jonah, prepared to tell him what he could do with his false concern, but she closed her mouth at his next words.

"Don't make me resort to blackmail."

Sinead felt panic rush through her at his threat. Surely he wouldn't say anything about their 'relationship' in front of anyone. But, seeing the smug look in his eyes she realized that he would. Turning her panic into a glare, she inwardly cursed him.

"Blackmail?"

This came from Ted, who was narrowing his eyes at Jonah. It made Sinead feel better, at least _someone_ was on her side.

"All good cousins have it on each other," the rapper answered, shrugging like he didn't have a care in the world. And he probably didn't.

And then Jonah's eyes—all brown and warm—were back on her. "Please go rest." His voice was as soft as the expression on his face. "You look like you're gonna collapse."

It surprised her momentarily, and she felt her defenses lower. He really did look and seem concerned.

 _Seem._

Of course it was an act, what else could it be? She scoffed at her own foolishness for almost falling for his little game or whatever it was, and shot back, "Stop acting like you _care._ "

Then she 'stubbornly' (as Jonah would probably call it) turned and squared her shoulders, only to catch Amy's worried look. A prick of shame shot through Sinead at that. She knew that she was worrying her cousin, not to mention her parents.

Giving in—though reluctantly—she stated, "I'm going I guess."

Then she faced her parents, who weren't bothering to hide their relief. "You guys have to call me if anything, and I mean _anything_ happens. Even if it's something small."

They promised to do so, and Sinead couldn't resist hugging them both. Her parents both looked so worn out, but still hopeful, probably trying to be strong for her and Ted and everyone else.

She turned and hugged Ted too, and he whispered in her ear as she pulled away, "Don't let him get to you. Just go rest and hopefully there will be good news awaiting when you wake up."

All she could manage was a nod. Not trusting herself to say or do anything else, she glared at Jonah on her way out.

He was just standing there with his arms crossed and an apathetic look on his face, but she thought she saw a glint of relief on his face too. Which was absurd.

It was a silent walk to the hotel next door, and no one spoke until they entered the room.

"I know you're mad at me. But I really do think you need to sleep."

Sinead paused mid-stride, and let out a breath before she answered Amy. "I know. I just hated that you were gaining up on me. Especially-"

"I promise I wasn't trying to side with Jonah against you," Amy said calmly, and truthfully, Sinead could hear it in her voice. "I just agreed with what he was saying. I know you're trying to be strong for your family but you need rest in order to do that."

"Yeah. Well thanks for being concerned," Sinead said, meeting her cousin's jade-green eyes. "I know that _your_ motives are in the right place."

Amy opened her mouth but hesitated and Sinead thought that she was about to retreat from what she was going to say. But then her voice said softly, "I think his are too."

Annoyance flashed through Sinead but she tried to play dumb. "Who? Jonah's?"

She snorted before her cousin could reply. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but he doesn't care about anyone but himself. I would know."

Then she clamped her mouth shut, upset that she had just let that out, _and_ that her tone sounded so bitter.

"Never mind. I'm getting ready for bed."

"Sinead, I think you're wrong about that. He seems-"

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

Amy was silent for a beat, then backed down. "Okay fine. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Sinead didn't say anything else, pushing back the guilt, _again._ She had been feeling a lot of that lately, but there were so many other emotions going through her (it seemed like on an hourly basis) that she didn't have the energy to analyze it. Instead, she went through her nighttime routine and tried to settle in to sleep.

But after a couple of hours of tossing and turning, trying not to think about her brother lying on an operating table, she gave up on that idea.

Glancing over at Amy and seeing that her cousin appeared to be sleeping, she quietly got out of bed and went for her laptop. She really needed a distraction.

Only that didn't help either. After an hour of social media browsing, looking on her college website, and trying to look up funny YouTube videos, she realized that it was just making it worse. Everything she looked at was making her think of her brother, who was all alone right now except for the doctors and surgeons. Was he able to comprehend it at all? Did he miss her and Ted, wondered why they weren't there? Was he scared?

Sinead hated that they couldn't see him, like normal people were able to do. But this operation wasn't normal. Sighing, she turned the computer off, only to hear Amy's sleepy voice say, "Sinead, are you alright?"

Wincing, she looked over and saw Amy peering at her, now starting to sit up.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

Instead of obeying or even replying, Amy stood up and stretched, then walked over to Sinead's side of the room and sat on her bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying not to think of my brother," Sinead replied, then groaned. "And I'm trying to be strong Amy, but it's so hard right now."

She hated to admit weakness, but everything was starting to get to her, and not just her brother's operation. She wanted to know _why_ Jonah was here, messing things up even further. But she didn't want to get into it with him. Not here. Not now.

Amy frowned at her, disapproval all over her face. "You don't have to be strong Sinead. You're surrounded by people that love you and are here to support you and your family. It's okay to break down."

 _Break down,_ Sinead thought wryly.

She knew what Amy was hinting at, that it was okay to cry. Sinead almost wanted to cry too, only she couldn't for some reason. Shrugging it off, she said, "I know. You guys being here alone is helping. Trust me. I'm just a mess at the moment."

Her cousin opened her mouth, but Sinead cut her off. "I need a distraction right now Amy."

Then she bit her lip. "If you're okay staying up that is."

"Of course," Amy replied right away. "What do you want to talk about? Or do you want to watch a movie?"

Sinead rolled the idea around, but thought that a movie wouldn't help much.

"Tell me about you and Ian's last date." She smirked at her cousin, "Maybe full-blown girl talk will help me."

Amy laughed in surprise but shrugged her shoulders, "If you're sure it won't be 'too mushy'," she quoted Sinead's words from weeks ago back to her.

Sinead laughed too, a bit hollowly, but geared her mind towards romance. Not hers of course, there was none of that in her life currently.

"Lay it on me," she said, and settled in, pushing all other thoughts from her mind.

—

 **So we are getting to the part that everyone already knows about (if you've read the other). But I'll try to make it as different as possible! Plus, I might add just a liiiiitle more to the ending ;)**


	4. Only a Touch

She and Amy had talked for a couple of hours, but when Sinead saw her cousin's exhaustion come back she faked a yawn and told Amy that she felt like she could sleep. It was a lie, she only drifted for about an hour total the entire night, but she felt better knowing that Amy got some rest.

Of course her body felt tired and slightly beat up, but a hot shower and fresh makeup hopefully made her look better than she felt.

It was about six-thirty when they made it back to the waiting area. Sinead had already contacted her parents to check on Ned, only to hear that he was in the final stage of the surgery. She wasn't sure how to feel about that, but her mom assured her that it was probably a good thing.

 _I guess we will find out soon enough,_ Sinead thought as she and Amy stepped through the door.

As soon as they were in she realized that everyone was awake and bustling about the room. There were even smiles on some faces, and then Sinead noticed the new people in the room.

Ian and Natalie were both sitting on one of the couches, and stood when they saw the girls enter.

"Amy, Sinead"—Natalie's brown eyes were sympathetic—"How are you?"

Amy was the one who answered. "About as well as we can be."

She walked up to them first, hugging Natalie and then kissing Ian.

Sinead smiled at the display of affection, genuinely happy for her cousin, but was cut off with a hug from Natalie.

"Sinead, I'm so sorry we're just now here. Our flight was delayed slightly."

"It's fine," she assured the girl, a little startled at the hug, but touched by it. Directing her smile to include both Kabras, she added, "It was really sweet that you guys came"

"I'm slightly surprised to see Jonah here," Ian commented, gesturing towards the wall, where Sinead saw that the star was huddled against.

She hadn't seen him at first, which was a surprise since his jacket—covering his head—was so bright. He was obviously sleeping though, and she wondered how he could sleep with all of the noise surrounding him.

"Yeah, we were too," Amy said, and Sinead's eyes darted to her cousin.

But she didn't call her out on the lie, instead walking a few steps over to her parents.

"Any news?" she asked hopefully.

"Nothing about Ned," her dad answered, then threw a look at his wife. "But there was something that was slightly strange."

"One of the nurse aids came in and asked to talk to me and your father," her mom explained. "Someone routed all of the bills from this to their personal account."

It took a moment for the words to sink in.

"What?" Sinead said dumbly.

"Yes it's odd," her dad admitted. "The nurse was flustered when we were confused and then just said that it was someone here. She wouldn't say anything else due to the confidentiality factor. We asked everyone here but they acted like they didn't know anything either."

"Well," her mom cut in, a small smile on her face. "We asked everyone that was _awake._ "

Sinead's heart sank, even as her brain struggled to make sense of it. She stepped closer to her parents and said in a low tone, "There's no way it could be Jonah."

But her parents held her gaze, her dad's eyebrows raised. "I don't know," he said. "He seems to be very concerned with everything going on with Ned. And about you."

At that she flinched and stepped back a little. Her _parents_ thought something was going on between her and Jonah?

"That's ridiculous." Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears. "We can't stand each other."

They exchanged glances again, but Sinead ignored it, changing the subject.

"How did you guys sleep?" she blurted out, then regretted asking. They were sure to ask her the same thing now.

Sure enough, they admitted that they had only slept a little bit, and then asked her in turn.

"We hope that you got some rest honey." Her mom's eyes glinted with humor. "And I'm sure Jonah would be glad to hear about it too."

Sinead couldn't help her tone as she replied, "I actually barely slept at all last night. I'm sorry that all of your convincing didn't help."

She was going to say more, but Jonah rolling over suddenly caught her vision. Caught off-guard, she watched him pull his jacket down, let out a yawn, and pop his eyes open.

They were lined with sleepiness, and the disoriented look on his face was cute. Her heart quickened, and she wanted to slap herself for thinking that anything he did was 'cute'.

She glared at him to cover it up and was about to turn back to her mom when Jonah met her eyes. And then to her amazement he glared back at her, rolled his eyes, and resumed his prior position, retreating back into his jacket.

"Well," she snapped, a bit put out. "Did I interrupt someone's beauty sleep?"

No answer.

The few that were in hearing distance chuckled, but Sinead failed to see the humor. Instead, she turned back to her mom and said quietly, "Maybe it was the Kabras but they don't want to admit it."

She knew though, deep inside of her, that it had been Jonah. And the _idea_ that he decided to just go ahead and take the bills upon himself made her blood boil.

There were only a handful of reasons why he would do something like that. First, to show off. Even though he obviously didn't tell anyone, he had to know that at least _she_ would know it was him. Or it was a power play, something to show her that he was in control. Ever since that night at the party that was all their relationship was, a play for power over the other. Another option could be that he pitied Ned, her family, or all of them—something that didn't sit very well with her either.

She kept silent as Jonah decided to come alive again and he and Natalie exchanged a few words, not trusting herself to even look at him as she debated how to handle this.

This had to stop. She was done with pretending that he wasn't here, done ignoring him and his stupid motives. Didn't he get that she didn't need this right now? That she had enough on her plate to deal with?

Exhaustion fell back over her, but she fought it off, determination overpowering it. She vaguely heard Jonah ask what time it was and Amy respond, but nothing really stuck until her mom spoke up.

"One of the nurse aids said something a little strange though." Sinead watched as Jonah, who was apparently on his way to the bathroom, stopped and met her mom's eyes without flinching. Her mom was keeping her tone casual too, "Apparently _someone_ routed all of the bills from all of this to their personal account. Along with any additional costs that come up. You don't know anything about that do you?"

Jonah didn't even change facial expressions, didn't even blink as he lied right through his teeth. "Nope. Wow, that's cool though."

If she hadn't been so pissed, Sinead would have laughed at the 'yeah right' look her mom was giving the celebrity. But then she relaxed and shrugged her shoulders. "Huh, well I guess we will never know then. You're the last person I've asked."

"I guess not."

And then he resumed his walk to the bathroom like he didn't have a care in the world. And Sinead barely checked her anger. The fact that he could just lie like that burned her.

 _And you're an idiot for still being attracted to him, and for having feelings for him. You're such an IDIOT,_ she told herself, feeling a twinge of self-loathing.

She would have berated herself some more but Dr. Aldridge came through the door, his face composed.

"Can I talk to you and your husband?" he asked, addressing her mother.

They immediately agreed, and Sinead saw the hopefulness and fear mixed on their faces. She hoped with all of her heart that it was good news.

It was silent in the room after they left, and Sinead turned her attention back to the bathroom door. Everyone else had sat down, and she caught them eyeing her warily. It was then that she realized she was so angry she was shaking, emotions coursing through her. Maybe she should have been thinking about Ned, but she was actually glad to have something else to focus on now, to distract her.

 _Jonah has no idea what's waiting for him when he comes out,_ she thought through her ire. _If he thinks that he is going to go another hour with his stupid games then he's crazy._

At that moment the door opened, and she didn't even wait for him to fully step through it before she bit out, "What in the heck were you thinking?"

His mouth dropped open a little, but she kept her gaze on him as he looked around the room.

"Where are your parents?" he asked, like he really wanted to know.

"The doctors wanted to talk to them alone." She crossed her arms in front of her. "Now answer my question."

Jonah still seemed thrown off, and he didn't really meet her eyes as he gave her the lousiest response she had ever heard come out of his mouth. "Um, I was thinkin' that I need to go buy clothes. And I got no idea what you're—"

"That won't work with me Jonah."

Something flashed across his face at her words. Sinead couldn't place it, but she didn't care either. It was time to get to the bottom of this. She would go crazy if she didn't. "I know you paid for it. And I want to know why. I'm tired of trying to figure out what you're playing at here—"

"Playing at?" he answered, but she didn't let him finish.

"The woman said it was someone here," she said, wanting him to know that he couldn't deny it. "And you're the only one with enough money to do something like that, except for the Kabras who weren't _here_ yet."

She saw him flinch and also saw the second he decided to split, but she moved just as he tried to walk around her, forcing him back. Of course, if he really wanted to leave he could use physical strength, but she had a feeling he wouldn't try it with curious eyes watching.

His lips tightened, and he crossed his own arms over his chest. "Why does it matter? You don't care, remember?"

It was the first time Jonah hinted about anything to do with their wacky relationship (other than the 'blackmail' comment), and Sinead almost reacted badly. She wanted to throw back in his face that he didn't' care either, that it was just about the sex. But she couldn't in front of everyone.

So instead she got back to the topic, not wanting to reveal too much. "This is different. I don't know if you're here out of some sort of 'feeling of obligation' or what, but I don't need _or_ want you here. And my family doesn't need your _charity._ "

It was mean to say it, but she wanted to force the truth out of him. If she could make him angry enough…

But he was already answering, his facial expression and posture still screaming that none of this was affecting him. "Maybe I just wanted to help 'cause I'm not as bad as you make me out to be."

Sinead couldn't help but snort at that one. _She_ was the one making him out to be a bad person? Jonah once again moved past her, but she let him, not knowing what else to say.

But when she turned and saw him almost to the door, she couldn't help but let out one last jab.

"Yeah right. More like you're 'maybe' feeling the need to come out on top. I mean, you're Jonah freaking _Wizard_ after all, you can't let anyone suspect that you actually don't care about anyone but yourself."

She felt horrible once the words left her mouth, but at the same time, she didn't care. She was just so _done_ with everything right now.

Jonah suddenly turned, not leaving like she thought he would. Sinead could see the fury in his eyes, his composure slipping instantly, but before she had time to react he was speaking.

"And maybe my motive behind everything is due to _you._ Maybe I'm tired of the way our relationship has been the last five months! Maybe I'm tired of just casual sex whenever you need an outlet!"

Shock poured over her, but she had no time to process anything, because the words kept spilling out of his mouth.

"Maybe I'm tired of you pushing me away 'cause you're scared to let anyone in!" His words hit her square in the chest; she couldn't believe he was voicing what she thought she had kept hidden from him, from _everyone_ , even her own family. But his next words nearly pushed her over the edge, shocking her even more than anything else he had said or done since she had known him. "Maybe I'm in _love_ with you Sinead."

The words were spoken in an almost-whisper, but she heard them as clearly as if he had screamed them at her.

And then, a heavy silence descended in the room, leaving Sinead with no clue what to say or do. But another voice cut in, making her flinch as she had forgotten that she and Jonah weren't alone.

" _Maybe_ you two should go somewhere private and talk about this."

The voice was familiar but she didn't even have the brainpower to place it, she was so thrown-off by Jonah's words.

' _Maybe I'm tired of you pushing me away 'cause you're scared to let anyone in!'_

Her lips were starting to tremble, she could feel tears start to fill her eyes, but she couldn't move, couldn't think.

' _Maybe I'm in love with you Sinead.'_

The phrase repeated over and over again in her mind, crashing over her, even as the tiny bit of logic in the back corner of her brain screamed that it wasn't true.

 _He doesn't mean it, he can't mean it._

But he seemed sincere. In fact, he was staring at her like he was about to come over where she was, all anger having vanished from his face. Gulping in some air, she tried to lift her chin at him, to blink against the torrent of emotion she felt. She didn't know if it worked or not, didn't have time really to know, because the click of the door opening made her automatically move her attention over to it.

Her parents stepped through, and her heart dropped. They weren't smiling or anything, but she lost sight of them as Ted and the rest of the group gathered around them, the noise level going up. It was then that she noticed the doctors that had come in with them, and guilt seeped back through her body.

 _Ned._

Sinead couldn't believe that in her confusion over Jonah that she had forgotten why her parents had left the room.

 _Let's go ahead and add 'worst sister ever' to my list of accomplishments in the last 24 hours,_ she thought numbly, even as she stared at the group for a sign of good news.

"How is he?" Ted demanded, but she could hear the worry in his voice.

Sinead braced herself, prepared herself for the worst, only it didn't come.

"He's just fine." Her mom was beaming though tear-filled eyes and it looked like she was barely holding them in.

One of the doctors was explaining that Ned did extremely well and that they were out of the danger zone, and a lot of other positive things, but Sinead still stood there, frozen.

Then the room erupted in shouts of relief, and Sinead could see both tears and laughter, but it was like she was numb still. Her mother's and the doctor's words rushed over her, but they didn't quite register.

"Sinead honey, why are you over there still?" Dimly, her dad's voice broke through. "Didn't you hear? Ned is going to be okay."

At that reassurance, she almost broke. But something was holding her back, telling her that it wasn't okay yet to be happy, to cry tears of relief like the rest of the group—the group that was now staring at her in stunned disbelief. It was then that Sinead realized she _was_ crying despite her fighting against it, that huge tears were dropping from her eyes, falling down her cheeks.

 _No. I can't break down. Not in front of everyone._

So she inhaled a sharp breath and turned in the opposite direction, willing herself to get a grip. She just needed a few seconds, then she would be okay. She could be cheerful and happy like the rest of them.

But she wasn't going to get a few seconds, because she saw a figure approaching her.

Jonah. Of course. His facial expression was determined, but she didn't have the energy to figure out what his aim was.

So she just watched him approach, willing herself to push him away again, to spit out again that she didn't need his pity. But she couldn't. It was like she was nailed to the floor, the words 'Ned is going to be okay' pouring over her like water flowing into a thirsty desert.

Jonah moved even closer, then his hand reached out to touch her shoulder. Even though she had been watching him, the contact still made her tense. She felt her body begin to shake and couldn't stop that either, especially as she processed his next word.

"Sweetheart."

 _Sweetheart._

And suddenly, she didn't care—didn't care that he probably didn't mean it—didn't care that there were other people in the room, like Ted and her parents. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, indecisiveness gripping her.

"Let me hold you."

Before she could stop herself, before her brain could kick in and tell her that this was a bad idea, she gave in, flung herself at him, and nestled her head in his chest. And then she allowed every emotion to let loose.

It all came crashing down.

Ned was _okay,_ and recovering at the moment. She wasn't going to lose her brother. He wasn't going to die.

Jonah was _here_ and just said that he was in love with her. Even if he didn't mean it, he at least cared right? He was acting like he did at least, now cradling her against him like a child, whispering in her ear that he was there and that it was okay to let it all out.

In response she tightened her grip on his shirt, trying to press her head even closer against him. The security that she felt right now was what she needed, and she reveled in it.

She somehow was sitting on his lap now, though she had no idea how they had gotten to the couch. But she could feel Jonah's arms around her, and he was still whispering in her ear, letting a few more terms of endearment out.

And Sinead kept crying, not knowing where all of these emotions were coming from, but at the same time, feeling as if she had held onto them for far too long.

Jonah's voice broke though again, his tone caring. "Sinead baby, calm down. You're gonna get sick."

She tried, but his tone made it worse, the concern in it and in his touch hitting her somewhere deep inside.

 _Is this what it's like? To have someone that loves you?_

But did he? The question sobered her, and the tears fled, leaving her with a million thoughts scattering through her mind. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to go still and tried to get a hold of herself.

Then she moved her head to his neck, wanting to feel his skin against hers for some reason, like it would make him more real right now, since she almost felt like she was in a dream.

"Jonah did—" she paused, hating to ask this question, but she had to know, _needed_ to know. "Did you mean all of that?"

"Yeah."

It was a simple answer, but it was all she needed. Gulping in another breath of air to steady herself, she looked up at him, trying to gauge his sincerity.

He looked a little nervous, but honesty was gleaming in his eyes. "And Ned," she said, bringing up her brother, needing to confirm again that he was okay, that he wasn't lying dead as she spoke. "He's okay."

 _He's okay._

Again, the relief and shock rushed through her. She was for sure that he wouldn't make it, the procedure seemed so risky hours ago.

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, she lowered her head back to Jonah's chest, "So tired," was all she could get out. "I can't even think."

Jonah's voice sounded guilty when he answered, his chest rumbling as he spoke, "I'm sorry. Not that I said it, but the timing, I—"

"It's okay," she said, her voice wavering with emotion. "I'm glad you did."

And she meant it with everything inside of her.

"Yeah?"

That's all Jonah said, but she could hear the relief in that one word.

She tried to think of why he would be relieved, but already her brain was fuzzing out on her. The lack of food and sleep, along with the constant stress and worry she had felt the last three days suddenly weighed down on her. Sleepiness nearly crushed her, and Jonah was just so _warm_ right now, so steady.

"I feel like, like I'm going to go to sleep."

Her words that had just slipped out sounded distant—hazy even, like they were coming from a distant person and not from her own mouth.

She felt Jonah shift her into the crook of his shoulder and then his soothing voice washed over her. "Go ahead baby. You've been through a lot in the past couple of hours."

"Okay."

A light brush against her forehead could be felt, almost like a feather gracing her skin, and then she felt another light touch, this one against her cheek. But that was all she registered, sleep finally claiming her.


	5. Only Forward

_Security…warmth…_

Sinead's brain awoke before the rest of her did, the words hovering at the edge of her mind as she gained consciousness. The next thing she became aware of was that she was curled up on someone, someone who smelled masculine—and _familiar_ at that—but she kept her eyes closed, trying to figure it out before she opened her eyes.

 _Jonah._

The thought of his name almost made her tense up, but she worked to stay still as memories rushed back to her. She was at the hospital where her brother had just gotten out of an intense surgery, and she had a breakdown in the waiting room and fell asleep on Jonah. She was recalling small details too, but forced them away for now. She needed to find out about Ned. Everything else could be put on hold.

Shifting so everyone would think that she was just starting to wake up, she vowed to stay calm. If she could approach it from that angle she should be fine until she could work things out.

Mustering her courage she opened her eyes and immediately found Jonah's. He looked a little thrown-off, and she thought he even tensed up a little, but she ignored it.

"Ned?" she asked, blinking as she tried to focus and shake the sleep off.

"He's doing great. They are still saying no visitors though."

"Oh." She closed her eyes in relief, glad that he was still recovering with no issues.

Then she became aware of something else in the room, the scent of food. The intense hunger that she felt was probably due to her barely being able to eat the past two days. The pang that hit her stomach came suddenly and without mercy.

She opened her eyes again. "Is that food I smell?"

Jonah just blinked at her, as if surprised she spoke, but another voice spoke up, Dan's.

"Yep and it's really good. Hey Jonah you can finally eat now too."

 _Finally eat?_

Just how long had she been sleeping anyways? She stared at Jonah, wanting answers but he was answering Dan, a wary look on his face.

"Okay yeah sounds good."

"How long have I been sleeping? What time is it?"

Jonah didn't look at her as he answered, "Uh, 2pm, so a little over six hours?"

He said it like a question, like he wasn't sure how to act right now. And he still wouldn't look at her.

Sighing, she carefully stood from his lap and stated, "I'm going to freshen up. You're in charge of getting both of us food."

And then she started for the bathroom, not daring to meet anyone else's gaze. She heard Jonah answer "okay" but that was all he said.

As soon as the door closed behind her she leaned against it, licked her lips and allowed the other memories to fly through her mind. She couldn't believe that all of that had really happened. Ned was her first priority, so she allowed the relief and thankfulness to be felt first. But that wasn't the only memory that came to her.

She blushed as she remembered her and Jonah's fight, _and_ the words that he had spoken in front of everyone. Now they all knew that they had been sleeping together, and Jonah had implied that Sinead had been the one to initiate it.

Which was true, but still, _Ted_ had been there and would probably kill her later.

And then there was that word, _love._ Jonah had been angry when he had said it, but Sinead remembered the truthfulness in his gaze. Plus, when people were angry they tended to let out their innermost thoughts and were more honest.

And if he was lying, that didn't make sense when you counted all of the other actions he had taken. Calling her 'sweetheart' in front of her parents, risking her blowing up on him when he asked if he could hold her, and then holding her on his lap for that long. Not to mention the things before that, like canceling his tribute performance and paying Ned's hospital bill.

Sinead felt a little overwhelmed by it all, but knew that she just needed to relax for the moment. She could analyze later. But she was determined to give Jonah a chance now, to not be so defensive and to see how the next few hours played out.

So she quickly washed her face, her stomach reminding her once again how neglected it was. Making sure in the mirror that her face was calm, she exited the bathroom, promising herself that she would act normal.

Jonah was sitting on the couch, listening to Hamilton talk about football, and Sinead let her eyes scan the room. All of her cousins were there, along with her brother. She didn't see her parents anywhere, but that was okay. It was a little awkward since they had witnessed her breakdown with Jonah stepping in, and she wanted to postpone that discussion for now.

She did catch Ted's gaze as she made her way to the couch, but he just smiled at her.

Relieved, she sat down and asked, "So what did I miss while I was sleeping?"

Amy answered, "Well we left as soon as you went to sleep to get breakfast for us and your parents. Then most of us took naps until just now when Hamilton and Ted went and got lunch for everyone. The food woke us all up."

"I see," Sinead said out of reflex, blindly taking the item that Jonah was handing her. Curious, she turned to him, remembering how tired he had looked right before they got the news of Ned. "Did you sleep at all?"

Jonah was fixing his burrito and didn't look at her as he answered, "No. But I'm fine."

Again, she picked up that he seemed uneasy around her, and wondered if he was nervous or something. She debated saying something to make him relax but hunger trumped everything as she looked down at the food in her hand.

Jonah, she noted, was eating like he was starving too, and he probably was. Remembering Dan's words, she leaned over as soon as she was done with her burrito.

"So you just sat here and held me for six hours without sleeping or eating or anything?"

It was pretty obvious that he had, but Sinead wasn't asking that. What she was asking was _why_ , and he must have picked up on it.

Meeting her eyes, he replied, "I didn't wanna wake you up by movin' around to eat. And you needed the sleep more than I did."

The careful way he said it made her search his eyes, wondering if he was being honest with her. But it appeared he was. While his eyes were still wary—like he was waiting for her to blow up on him again—they glittered with openness.

And then he looked away from her, as if not able to hold her gaze. Why? After a few seconds of this, she realized that he wasn't going to turn.

"We should talk," she stated, and saw him stiffen. "But probably not now. I still feel all off-kilter."

"Okay."

Now she was sure that he was scared to talk to her, and almost smiled at the thought. It was sort of cute in a way, but she told herself to be kind and not abuse the power.

"Hey," Madison's voice rang out, and Sinead looked up to see her addressing Jonah. "Is your jacket the one Michael Jackson wore? Or is it a copy? We have a debate going on over here."

Sinead looked at the flashy red jacket, a little startled as she realized that it did look like the one Michael Jackson wore.

 _I really have been out of it_. _Too many distractions and worries I suppose._

"Not a copy," Jonah said, but his voice didn't hold the smugness she thought it would as he went on, "It's the one he wore in Thriller."

All of the cousins looked impressed, and even Ted did slightly, but it was Dan who answered, "Whoooaaa, so is it ruined now?"

Before Sinead could grasp his meaning he said, "I mean Sinead did cry all over it."

Murdering Dan all of a sudden jumped high on Sinead's to-do list. She opened her mouth but Jonah was already talking.

"I don't really care."

It threw her for a second and she glanced at him. Jonah's expression was annoyed but when she caught the softness in his eyes she quickly turned back to Dan before she got flustered.

"Um I don't like the way that you just implied it's _my_ fault if his jacket is ruined."

Dan blinked at her, but Sinead kept frowning at him. " _I'm_ not the one that asked him if I could 'cry all over him'."

"But you did kind of throw yourself—"

A British voice bit out, interrupting the sentence that Sinead was about to smack Dan over. "Daniel. Shut. Up."

She watched as Dan frowned over at Natalie, but he almost flinched back once he did. It was probably due to how the other girl was glaring at him, but Sinead was still too annoyed to fully appreciate it.

Dan coughed suddenly and stood up. "I'm just going to go get a snack from the vending machine."

"Good idea," Sinead said dryly, thinking that it was more good for _his_ sake than hers, but added, "Take this too while you're at it."

The blonde Cahill made a face at her, but took the food wrappers from her hand, then scurried out of the room like he was on fire.

Sinead watched him for a second but weariness suddenly hit her again, and she glanced quickly over at Jonah. He was staring at the door Dan had just exited so she impulsively moved towards him, resting her head on his shoulder.

For some reason, the move made her heart beat quicken—thought it was crazy, she had just _slept_ on him—and she felt him tense a little.

"Do you mind?" she asked, hoping that he didn't. "I feel really drained still."

Then, she remembered how tired _he_ had looked just seconds ago. He probably needed a nap himself, not for her to crash on him again.

"What am I saying? You're the one who needs to rest." She started to rise.

"Lay your head back down."

Jonah almost bit the words out at her, and Sinead raised her eyebrows.

"Aren't we bossy," she stated, though she wasn't really mad. Her mom and dad walked in then, so she added, "I need to talk to my parents anyways."

It was a true statement. She wanted to get their take on Ned's recovery, and they may have more information than everyone else.

Not waiting for Jonah's reply, she crossed the room, where her dad instantly pulled her into a hug. "Hey sweetie. Do you feel better now?"

"Much," she admitted. Then, partly because she wanted to know, and partly because she wanted to avoid their asking about Jonah, she asked, "When can we see Ned? And how is he doing?"

"We should be able to see him soon, within the hour probably," her mom replied, her eyes lit with happiness. "And he is still doing well."

"Good," Sinead breathed, closing her eyes when she felt the tears well up.

"Yes. It's a miracle for sure." That statement came from her dad. "We easily could have lost him but I'm so thankful everything turned around."

She mentally agreed, then asked for a detailed account of what happened with Ned when she was asleep. Her brother and cousins had mentioned some stuff, but she wanted her parents take on it too. Sinead wasn't sure if she was wanting the extra reassurance, but something about talking with her parents calmed her down and made her feel better.

She had always had a close bond with her family, but she had a feeling that it would be stronger than ever, now that they had gone through this together.

Their conversation had turned from the events happening here and onto Sinead's schoolwork, when the door opened and Jonah came through. She hadn't even noticed that he stepped out, but he caught her eye and walked over.

She tentatively gave him a smile, but he wasn't looking at her. "So I just got off the phone with my dad," he said, his tone reluctant. "I'm going to have to leave soon. Like in the next fifteen minutes. My tour starts tomorrow night and I gotta get there in the morning to rehearse my sets."

Disappointment rushed through her, almost throwing her off with its intensity, but she ignored it and studied him as he turned to her dad. Was it her imagination, or did he look disappointed too?

"I'm sorry," Jonah went on. "I wish I could—"

"Honey we get it," her mom cut in. "You've already done enough."

Sinead watched as she stepped in front of Jonah and placed her hands on his shoulders. She didn't say anything for a minute, but then she smiled and said in that 'knowing' tone that she took on at times, "I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon. And thanks again for canceling your big event."

Her mom hugged him then, and Jonah returned it, this time not looking uncomfortable like he did the prior day, and something in Sinead's heart fluttered. But it didn't last long as she watched her mom whisper in his ear. A grin formed on the celebrity's face, then he chuckled and pulled back. "I will."

Sinead narrowed her eyes at her mother, but she was looking away, still smiling. Before she could question what was said, her dad spoke up while shaking Jonah's hand. "I'll echo what my wife just said, thank you for everything. And you're always welcome to come visit us."

Barely able to contain her eye roll at the invite, she instead braced herself to tell Jonah goodbye as he replied to her dad. Then she spotted her cousins and thought of a way to prolong it. She started their way, then turned and motioned for Jonah to follow her.

"Hey, Jonah has to leave," she announced to the group, hoping that her voice sounded even. "He has celebrity things to do."

"Yeah my dad just called me so I have to," Jonah added.

The disappointment was evident on everyone's face, but they all stood and started to tell him goodbye. She watched Ted's face when it was his turn, curious as to how that one would go. But it was cordial enough—her brother not changing expressions as he shook Jonah's hand—and then it was over.

Swallowing, Sinead realized that she still wasn't ready to tell Jonah goodbye, and she _really_ didn't want it to be in front of an audience. Putting her best 'apathetic' face on, she stated, "I'll walk you down."

Then she turned to the door, not wanting to see the other's reactions, or to give herself a chance to chicken out.

"Um, okay," he mumbled, then he called out a final farewell over his shoulder. It was silent—and awkward—as they made their way down the hallway and into the elevator, but Sinead didn't allow herself to look at him until the door's closed.

Jonah wasn't looking at her, and she thought he looked almost... _nervous?_

"Relax," she assured him. "I'm not going to kill you or anything."

The laugh he let out suggested that he didn't believe her. "But you might still hurt me," he pointed out.

Rolling her eyes, she held back her retort that if she wanted him dead, it would have already happened. Instead, she planned on what she was going to say. She felt like she owed him honesty, at least.

Once they approached the car though, doubts began to hit her. What was she doing? What could she even say?

Not wanting to lose control, she turned to him and said, "Well goodbye."

Jonah looked confused as he met her eyes, but quickly said, "When Ned's released and everything is somewhat back to normal for you, call me."

 _Oh. Of course. That's what this is about._

Disappointment washed over her, but she fought against it. What had she expected, that Jonah would actually be different? Maybe he was just after what he could get. Maybe she had been wrong in what she had been thinking the last little bit.

"Oh." Her voice was robotic, even to her own ears. "Okay so we can—"

"I wanna take you out. On a date."

She hadn't been expecting that at all. "A _date_?!"

"Yep. So will ya let me?"

He sounded slightly irritated, and her eyes flew to his. Everything in her wanted to shout 'yes!', but she wasn't sure if this would be a good idea. Was he really sincere after all?

"I-I," she tripped on the small word and halted, not sure how to respond.

Jonah's eyes were steady and intent, sincerity shining in them.

"It's a yes or no question Sinead."

And she didn't have to think anymore. "Yes."

As soon as she spoke the word she looked down, trying to hide the thrill that had shot through her, leaving her almost feeling giddy. He wanted to take her out on a _date._

To her amusement, Jonah sounded taken aback by her response.

"Yes?" he repeated like he wasn't sure if he had heard her right.

She didn't want him to see the smile still on her face, so she kept her head down as she answered. "That's what I said Wizard."

It was kind of cute how he answered, all happy-sounding like she had just made his day. "Okay, cool."

Sinead thought that would be it, and prepared for the 'good-bye', when he added, "Oh, and just so ya know?"

But he didn't elaborate until she met his now-serious gaze.

"No sex at the end of this date. I wanna take you out and bring you flowers and kiss you goodnight without you thinkin' I'm just after that."

The words floored her; she hadn't expected him to be so blunt about it. Studying him for a minute, she barely could hold back her grin as the sweetness of his words— _and_ their honesty—registered in her brain.

Not wanting to get too mushy, she allowed a smile on her face but said teasingly, "Flowers are so cheesy. Can't you channel more creativity from your Janus brain than that?"

Jonah's gaze turned startled, but then returned her smile. "Leave it to me," he said, like he was promising one of his fans the show of their life. "It will be the best date you've ever been on."

"I guess we will see," she couldn't help but quip back.

"Yeah," he said, his gaze softening. Before she could really even register the move he was right in front of her, his face mere inches away.

She thought he would kiss her on the lips but instead she felt a light pressure against her cheek.

"Bye."

"Um, goodbye."

Her response was faint, but she was sure that he heard her. He got into his car then and she stepped back, not wanting to appear as affected as she felt. Jonah was leaving, and she hated that.

 _It's crazy,_ she thought as she watched him back out of the spot. _Just hours ago I would have been relieved to see him go._

Now, she wasn't sure exactly how she felt.

—

"Should we go look for Jonah's body?" Dan's sarcastic tone was what she was greeted with when she walked back into the waiting room.

Rolling her eyes, she said, "No. I hid it so well no one will ever be able to find it."

Everyone laughed, and her mom put her two cents in. "He seems like such a nice boy."

Her dad snorted and said before Sinead could respond, "I guess so—for a rapper anyways."

" _You_ like him?"

Sinead was astonished. She spied a glimmer of a smile on her dad's face before he cleared his throat.

"He's alright. I'll at least try to like him, since he's your boyfriend and all."

At the word 'boyfriend' her heart thudded, and she immediately wanted to protest the word. But she knew it was no use. And besides, they _would_ be going out on a date soon.

So she flashed a tiny smile at her dad and settled into a seat, feeling questioning gazes on her as she did so. But she ignored them, asking about Ned once again.

"They're going to allow visitors really soon," Ted said. "They came in as soon as you and Jonah left."

"Good," she breathed, her happiness rising. Seeing her brother was all she wanted right now. "I'll feel so much better when I can see that he's okay for myself."

"We all will," Madison agreed.

It was quiet for a few seconds, and then Ted spoke up. "Sooo…" he trailed, and Sinead met his raised eyebrow. " _Is_ he your boyfriend?"

Flushing under his look, she looked towards the door and mumbled, "I don't know."

Nellie cleared her throat. "I think they're a little beyond that term, don't you—"

Alarmed that Nellie would say something inappropriate in front of her parents, Sinead blurted, "Look, we decided to figure it out later. You know, when there's not so much going on."

"That makes sense," her mother said. "With Ned and all it's too crazy right now."

She followed her statement with a sigh, drawing Sinead's gaze to hers. Her mom—though happy and relieved—looked exhausted at the same time. Without saying a word, Sinead went over and wrapped her arms around her.

Her mom returned the gesture, and they stayed that way until Dr. Aldridge entered a few moments later.

"How's the family? Ready to see Ned?"

Sinead's heart leapt. "Yes!" they all said almost at the same time.

Grinning, he motioned to the door. "Okay then. Immediate family members only for right now. He's been awake for a couple of minutes but I'm not sure if he will be when we get back. But you'll at least get to see him."

Excitement was so prevalent that she brushed off his light warning. Even if Ned _wasn't_ awake, seeing him alive would be enough.

—

It turned out that Ned had barely been coherent by the time they had reached his room. But it looked like he had tried to smile at the sound of their voices.

Now, five hours later, they were about to get to see him again, and hopefully would get to talk to him. The doctors had allowed the rest of the cousins to go in throughout the day, but they hadn't caught him awake.

Everyone had went and got food for them around an hour ago, and Sinead had barely been able to eat anything—hadn't been planning to actually, until Amy spoke up.

"You have to eat Sinead, or I'll be in trouble."

"With whom?" she had asked, rolling her eyes. But her cousin's smirk stopped her short.

"I can't say, but _someone_ gave me strict instructions to 'make sure Sinead eats something before too long yo, and _please_ make her sleep tonight'."

The auburn-haired Ekat couldn't stop the blush from forming on her cheeks as everyone cooed and laughed. It was obvious from Amy's slang and voice impersonation who that 'someone' was.

"You're exaggerating," she protested, but Amy shook her head.

"I'm not. In fact, he told me to do whatever I had to do, including pleading, guilt-tripping, and bribery."

"Geez," Sinead muttered, looking away in order to hide her smile. But she had reached for the food and made herself eat.

Currently though, her mind was only on her brother. More than anything, she wanted to be able to talk to him and for him to talk to her in return.

And it looked like she would get her wish. Ned was propped up on the bed, his eyes closed, but he opened them when he heard them enter the room.

Immediately a smile formed on his face, and his hoarse voice whispered, "Hey."

"Hey," they all echoed, then her mom asked, "how do you feel honey?"

"Strange," Ned admitted. "The doctors told me about the procedure and I couldn't believe it."

"It's been a crazy couple of days." Ted drew closer to the bed and took his brother's hand. "But we're just glad you pulled through."

Sinead found that she was unable to speak, but she walked over and took Ned's other hand, meeting his eyes and hoping that her words were conveyed through her own eyes. They must have been, because Ned's smile widened. "Hey sis."

"Ned," she breathed, then returned the look. "You look great."

While he was still pale, hooked up to all kinds of tubes, and definitely wasn't at his best, the words were true. He was _alive._ And in Sinead's books, that equaled perfect.

Her parents came over then, completing the circle around Ned's bed. Sinead glanced around, taking in the moment. She knew that they wouldn't be allowed to stay for long, so she wanted to enjoy it for as long as she possible could.

 _This is my family. We're still all here, even through the Clue hunt and the explosions and then the repercussions. We're still complete._

—

As soon as they re-entered the waiting room, Amy was holding out her cell phone.

"Hey Jonah wants to talk to you."

Sinead took it wordlessly, then breathed out a, "Hey."

"Hey." Jonah's tone was warm. "How are you holding up?"

"Okay," she said, stepping away from the circle and back out into the hallway for privacy.

"I didn't want to call your phone in case you were with Ned or sleeping," he explained. "But I wanted to hear your voice, even if you can't talk long."

"I can talk for a few minutes. We just saw Ned for the second time, but they wanted him to rest again."

"That's what Amy said. I'm so glad he's okay, _and_ that you got to see him. I'm sure you're relieved."

"I am," Sinead agreed, then fiddled with her hair while she debated what else to say. It was strange, hearing the genuine warmth in his voice. Had it always been there, right under the surface, waiting to be revealed?

Deciding to go with honesty, she whispered, "Is this weird to you too?"

There was a short pause before Jonah answered, his tone unreadable, "A little, I guess. But not in a bad way. I've wanted this for a while."

Sinead flushed, thinking of some of his earlier words now. "Really?"

Another pause, then a light laugh sounded through the receiver. "Wow, I must be better at acting than I thought. Of course I have. In fact"—he stopped for a beat—"maybe I should postpone this until our date. I know you have a lot going on right now."

The consideration touched her, and she heard herself saying, "Thanks Jonah, for caring. It is a lot. I mean, I'm glad this, 'whatever' between us happened, but it's hard to focus on right now."

"I bet," Jonah's voice was sympathetic. "Have you been eating and resting okay?"

"Yes, Amy is making sure of that. Apparentlyshe received strict instructions from _someone_ to do whatever she had to do."

Sinead tried to sound annoyed, but couldn't help the smile that leaked through her voice. Jonah must have heard it too, because he chuckled. "Yo, I gotta make sure you're being taken care of since I can't be there."

Again, the warmth leaking through his tone engulfed her, but she only said, "Thank you. That's sweet, even though I can take care of myself."

"I know ya can. But you shouldn't have to right now. Not with everything going on."

"That's what friends are for I guess." Then, feeling a bit bold, she added, "And 'boyfriends', as my dad seems to think you are. I didn't correct him."

"You didn't?" Jonah sounded pleased. "Good. Of course, that official date is still happening, but you can call me that all you want."

Feeling unsteady and nervous all of a sudden, Sinead changed the subject and asked him about his tour. They hung up shortly after that without any further discussion of dates or similar things, but that was fine with her. Right now, she needed a little space.

Walking back into the room, she wanted to smile right away as she took in her surroundings—Ian and Amy were talking quietly in the corner, the Holts were arm wrestling, Dan and Natalie were already into _another_ fight, and it looked like Nellie and Ted were placing bets on the football game playing on the TV.

Instead of joining any of the groups though, she sat on the couch by her dad. Normally, Sinead would have taken this time to analyze, whether her brother's recovery, Jonah's words, or what would happen over the next few months.

 _But all of that will happen soon enough. Right now, I just need to enjoy this time with the people that I love and who love me back and make the most of each day._

From here on out, no matter how scary things seemed, she would only go _forward_.

—

 **And that's it! Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed this, it was really fun to write! :)**

 **I was originally planning to write more triplet interaction, but with Ned on meds (that rhyming tho ;)) and Ted/Sinead concerned for him I kept it light.**


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